Sometimes I just don't know How to be Strong.

"Life throws you curve balls." Its a philosophy that's well versed in our society's book of Life. What I can't understand, is why does Life feel it necessary to not throw one, but five hundred at once? I understand the outcome is to make us Stronger, but there's only so much a person can take before falling to the ground. I'm not sure how much more myself or the very precious people around me can take.

It's hard trying to understand the meaning of life, and the importance of the people who enter it. There are a precious few people in my life whom I know that I'll never be without, but there are also the few where it feels like its important, beautiful, interesting, and mutual... but confusing and hard to figure out.

With matters of the heart, proverbs say Love Is Blind... Could that be the (somewhat) answer to this confusion about these few?

You say that I am meaningful. You say that I am Beautiful. You say that You feel something Important when it comes to knowing Me... If that is the case, then what exactly am I to You, if You have Her?

Drama is something I like life without. I always have. I regard Drama to be unnecessary, painful, idiotic, and immature. So if this is all that I am to You, and this is all that You want with Me, then You soon learn that knowing Me is a privilege. A privilege that can and very quickly will be taken away. But if what You say is genuine (which I hope it is), and deep in Your Heart Your intentions are true, then You and I have some future to look forward to.

Live through This, and You won't Look Back...

"Your Ex-Lover Is Dead"

God that was strange to see you again
Introduced by a friend of a friend
Smiled and said 'yes I think we've met before'
In that instant it started to pour,
Captured a taxi despite all the rain
We drove in silence across Pont Champlain
And all of the time you thought I was sad
I was trying to remember your name...

This scar is a fleck on my porcelain skin
Tried to reach deep but you couldn't get in
Now you're outside me
You see all the beauty
Repent all your sin

It's nothing but time and a face that you lose
I chose to feel it and you couldn't choose
I'll write you a postcard
I'll send you the news
From a house down the road from real love...

Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...
Live through this, and you won't look back...

There's one thing I want to say, so I'll be brave
You were what I wanted
I gave what I gave
I'm not sorry I met you
I'm not sorry it's over
I'm not sorry there's nothing to save

I'm not sorry there's nothing to save...

The Journey of Couch Surfing...

For those of you who haven't heard of this phenomenon, couch surfing is and has been a very useful way of having a place to stay, a number of different experiences, and possible networking. It has recently come to my attention that there has been an actual project created to make the process of finding a couch to conveniently surf a whole lot easier! Couchsurfing is a website created to help those in need of a couch, and those who have a couch available, to connect and make it happen.

The CouchSurfing Project is a free, Internet-based, international hospitality service, and it is currently the largest hospitality exchange network. The project was commenced in 2003 and formally launched on Jan 1, 2004. As of August 2008, it had more than 700,000 members in 232 countries and territories. According to their own published statistics 40 percent of their members are currently offering their couches to host travellers (with another 22 percent saying "maybe", and others who are travelling at the moment).^[1]. According to Alexa it is currently the most visited hospitality service on the Internet, averaging over 30 million daily page views in July 2008.^[2]

Members use the website to coordinate contacts and home accommodation ("couch-surfing") with other network members around the world. The website allows the creation of extensive profiles, and uses an optional credit card verification system, a personal vouching system, and personal references to increase security and trust between members. The site offers other features such as discussion groups, events and meetings, and live chat.

There you have it folks! If you are in need of a couch to crash on, please, save yourself the possible agony of wandering amongst your social circles hoping that a possible couch will come up, CouchSurfing is your solution!

The Rollercoaster ride of Possibility, & the Chance that You just might Fuck it up.

Relationships. They are the definition of Complicated. There are Family relationships, Friendships, ExRelationships, Business relationships... I think you get the picture.

The most frustratingly complicated ones in my life at this moment, are the ones involving possible romance. I've been out of the game for a while now, and I've always been more of a solid girl instead of a Flingster. I'm experienced, but not in numbers.

As of current, I've met someone interesting. If you ever want to win yourself a slot in my heart, the first thing you're going to need is Wit. Any man with wit and a clever tongue is Mr.Dreamy in my books. But unfortunately for me, as of late, I've been so out of the loop on how to handle light fluffy 'We're not looking for serious' encounters, when I'm in the middle of one, I completely blank out on what is the social tendency on what to do. I've never been a games person, I've always been true to my motto of "Just Be How You Feel." But my motto isn't very successful on snagging men. Or at least the right ones anyways...

It feels like I just keep messing up my chances with possible romance. And the only reason for it is because of my lack of gamesmanship. Fuck.

Spill Your Regrets...

Love. Something that is always shifting, changing, slipping through our fingertips. We know its a feeling, but could it also be an entity? Something thats so over-powering, so over whelming, life changing... There has to be something more then just a feeling to it.

Love is an addiction. Once you've had a hit, you're hooked, regardless of how painful the process is of trying to ween yourself off of it. Its one of the hardest, most beautiful things in the world, to have experienced Love and all its beauty. Its overwhelming beauty. Its beautiful tearing loss when its gone.

I believe the main thing about Love and being broken from the loss of it, is that instead of burying yourself in the pain of its death, embrace the fact that you're lucky enough to have had it.

I have been blessed with the amount of Love I have had in my life. The people whom I've surrounded myself with, are some of the most amazing people I've ever met, and I'm truly thankful to have had them in my life. They are family, not all through blood, but through life.

Life is all about experiences.