Uncle Jim, You will be loved forever.

[Auntie Di, Auntie Donna, Uncle Jim and Grandma Doreen]


Uncle Jim:
[Passed Oct 23rd, 2009]

Your spirit was something contagious.
You brought laughter to the room with every wink
Your love for Aunt Jackie was something I admired...
coming from a cynical non-believer in ever lasting love... you proved me wrong.
With every year that passed by, your love and admiration of Aunt Jackie and our family grew stronger. I will never forget how even till the very end of our time spent together, you still looked at Aunt Jackie with undying love and respect. You would always call her 'your sweetie'. And it touched my heart everytime. You were never shy to show your love, and in our family structure, that was something that was rare... I admired you for that.
Even when the doctors told us that you only had a short amount of time with us, your strength struck me. You had so much wisdom and hope and confidence that "you never know." You were not afraid. I was. My regrets are that I didn't get to spend enough time with you to feel satisfied.. but on second though, I'm not sure if this lifetime would've been able to give me the amount of time I wanted or needed. I'm still young in believing that every one of my loved ones are untouchable, Invincible. When I found out this morning that you had unexpectedly passed, a piece of my heart passed on with you. That part of my heart will never grow back. It's my homage to the love that I have for you.
Your belief in me means the world. And I'll love you for always. The only comfort I can take with this is knowing that you're no longer stuck in a cancer ridden jail cell of pain.
I am thankful for all that you have given me Jim. You gave me love. Support. Confidence in myself. Laughter, strength, and family.
I am forever indebted to you.

I fucking hate you, cancer. You had no right in taking away someone so important in my life, so quickly. Who the fuck are you to tell me I only have x amount of time to spend with someone I care about? Who made you god? You had no right.
And you've just gone and taken an amazing, wonderful, warmhearted, genuine being off of this earth. Fuck you.

"Beauty"

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There... Read More is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Fleet Foxes

Fleet Foxes
Folk Dusty Back to Basics Lovely

Mon Homme

and how do you know when to let go?

where does the good go?

look me in the eye and tell me you don't find me attractive.

look me in the heart and tell me you wont go.

look me in the eye and promise no love is like our love.

look me in the heart and unbreak broken it wont happen.

Doomed To be at Peace and Lay.

I know what I want.
I have a list.
I've put it everywhere so that I can see it,
but I always seem to lose sight of it somehow...
So I'm posting it on here,
and making a Promise.
A Promise to myself.



I am going to work as hard and as consistently as I can to accomplish every task on that list.
For myself.
There are things I want to feel
and I have some steps to take to make that feeling into a reality.

I want to feel healthy
I want to feel beautiful
I want to feel strong
I want to feel independant
I want to feel successful
I want to feel respected
Fun
Sexy
Womanly
Adult
Happy
Outgoing
Adequate
Fit

... And like I've done all the things that I've always wanted to do
and like I've attained all the things that I've wanted to get.



So now's the time.
I'm starting it.
I'm making it happen.


SCupcake's List of Wonders...

A studio loft
a better wardrobe
Steady income that covers all my needs as well as gives me room for play.
My tattoos all touched up and finished
To learn how to play the guitar
To take dancing lessons
To travel
Nicer things for my bedroom, and soon to be for my place
to start running again
to have more frequent spa days/nights
take better care of my body
1000% quit smoking tobacco
To start singing again
to do some really fun, beautiful photo shoots
To intern at in a fashion district
to work somehow in the music district
Go to Greece, France, Europe (basically) and Montreal with Shauna or Alone in the next 2 years
More girlie high heels
More girlie dresses
Sharper clothes
A headboard for my bed
Candles
Karate lessons again
Kayaking
Lasertag
My license
a Car
off the shoulder shirts
dangling earrings
To be swept away in passion
to be showered with unexpected gifts
to be taken out to nice restaurants
Rollerblading through Stanley Park
Treated to Spa days
Volunteer
Help out at local festivals
Help out at local fundraisers and events
Go to India, China, Egypt, Thailand and Africa in the next 3 years
Spend more time with my Grandmothers
Hang out with my little brothers
Get super awesome at Rock Band so I can Whomp my brothers





I just want to feel like I'm not being taken for granted
like I'm special
like I'm a prize.

Dreams Dreams Dreaming

Fashion Industry - Styling, Marketing, Promotion, Designing
Event Planning, Hosting
Independent Boutique/Franchise Owner
Music Events
Charitable Event Planning, Hosting
Helping others who can't help themselves
Making a difference
Music Industry
Meeting new people
Helping others get their start
Changing the World
Healthy Lifestyle coaching

Elixxxxuir

Fantasied and Prophesied
Thick. Succulent, and Quaint.
Lick my lips and bat my eyes
Rich. Sexy, and Taint.

We make It to Break it

We make it to break it
These silly games are played
I thought all those words... you meant it
But I guess this is what it feels like to be played.

Both directions, they're pulling
Heart torn, tattered and maimed
Your eyes, they tell such stories, behind them...
But I guess it's just me to be blamed.

We make it to break it
Heart torn, tattered and maimed
I thought all those words... you meant it
But I guess it's just me to be blamed...
But I guess it's just me to be blamed...
But I guess it's just me
to
be
blamed.

Céu

Céu

Sensual. Exotic. Feminine.

I Wonder...

Time has past
We're like two strangers
I wonder how you think these days
or if you ever cared

Curiosity at it's best
Any feelings faded.
I watched a Change in you
It's like I never knew

Do you think you ever knew me?
Knew my soul at all, truly?
I know you never did
You're blindness is the evidence.
Your ignorance, it's your blind bliss.

I hope you don't think you have any power
because you honestly don't at all.
Your ego is ginormous
I'm completely surprised that your heavy head
Haven't already had it's destined fall.

One day I hope I get to see
One day I hope you get what you need
One day I hope this curiosity
Finds its true meaning.

Until that day however, I will ponder...
Until that day, I wonder.

Jaded
Love overwhelms
Breathe.

Breathe In.

Because I Love You now. Can't help but Love You now.

Where was I?
I have to be somewhere...

Is this it?

Ride the Waves
Feel the Notions
Don't forget who You are.

Light & Soul Apparel - Good Vibes and Love

Light & Soul Apparel


"Light: The energy from the Sun
Soul: The water of the planet; soul of the earth

Together creating life, the most ultimate and beautiful creation.
And then life begins to create... "

Luke Kimmel, Dave Carlton, Page McPhee, and Cody Thompson are some of the raddest guys I have ever had the pleasure of meeting. Some of these boys and I go way back into the peaks of our childhood, with memories of ping-pong games loaded with irresistibly quotable catchphrases, late night dock chats of philosophy and life under the stars, and just plain old good times. These boys have got their shit together, and to have been able to continue a friendship with them has been incredibly beneficial for me. These boys are also co-owners of a extremely impressive apparel line called LIGHT & SOUL APPAREL.

Not only are these guys talented artists, but they are sweethearts as well. Because I believe in them as individuals, well as their company and dreams, I would like to share with all you readers some of their information as well as some of their marketing photos. I strongly believe in their message, to live life while you have it, to live in the now. I think that people today forget about how quick life can be, and take 'now' for granted. It seems that people are constantly planning for the 'future' instead of realizing that the future is not guaranteed. All we really have is THIS MOMENT, so live it, while you still can. Light & Soul seems to have the same ideals as me.

"And now life begins, but it begins now, in this very instant, like it has never began before. It begins with passion; a desire to take this life and squeeze out every last drop of potential it has to offer. To often do we choose a negative perspective on our lives and it causes us to shy away from the light within us. If we choose to live in fear then stress will be our master and our dreams will drift away, kept from fruition from our lack of faith and love. A life driven by fear will create a population without the self confidence it needs to fulfill it's potential. With love, confidence, and trust, we will grow. Life becomes a matter of perspectives by which your confidence, health and happiness are ultimately decided. Once you are able to love yourself, you love others, and others love you. Accepting this love is one of life's greatest challenges and accomplishments. Admit to yourself your strengths! Once you have faith in yourself, confidence will become your success. Believe as a child in the inexhaustible possibilities of this world and follow your dreams with freedom. Quest for happiness, feel the vibes, go head first without fear, fall in love, sigh and relax, laugh, smile, grow, evolve. We take these thoughts with us as we choose to push forward the evolution of the human mind and take our part in the spiritual evolution.
Much Love. Light & Soul."

These guys are really something. They have conquered the norm and gone above and beyond by doing exactly what they've wanted to do. They're only (average) 20 years old, yet they already have a company and line that they can call their own. Their professionalism is impressive, yet they're so chill and laid back and fun loving. They seem like the type of guys that you can get wild and random with, then later sit down around a beach fire pit and really dig deep into the possible meanings of life. Those types of people are hard to find, and these gentlemen have found one another and created something really worth while; a family as well as a business.

Props to you guys.

I Believe in you guys, and in your Dreams
I wish the absolute best to you and your loved ones
You deserve success, and I will support you in all your endeavors

Avec l'amour,
Namaste,

SCupcake, xox

This is Where the Stars Fall Down...

Everyone dreams about Something...

Lyrics. Hookah bars. Spanish Guitar. Salsa Dancing.

Books. Music. Travel. Cooking. Baking. Outdoor Sports & Activities.

Bustiers. Agent Provocateur. Singing. Writing Songs. Red Lipstick.

Poetry. Writing. Mosh Pits. Crowd Surfing. Loud Music.

Production in Music. DJing. Literature. Trench Coats. Folk Music.

Chanel. Symphonies. French Boudoir. Plays. Shakespeare.

Wes Anderson films. Acting. Chloe. Wine & Baguette combination.

French Lingerie. Moroccan Couture. Studios. Diamonds. Tattoos.

Fashion. Haute Couture. Dance. Music. French Decor. Paris.

Languages. Pin Up Glamor. Surfing. Fall. French Couture. Italian Culture. Photography.

Art. Bumper Cars. Concerts. Family Dinners. Dive Bars & Clubs.

Adventures. Silly string. Storms. Live Music. Disney Movies.

East Indian Cultures and Foods.

The game Mission Impossible. Lazer tag. Peter Pan. Reading.

Jane Austin. Oscar Wilde. Chuck Palahniuk. Walking in the Rain.

Pretty things. Silk. Lace. Satin. Fitness. High Heels.

Pumps. Ambiance. Raves. Education.

Reach Out and Touch Me...

Business look = What I am aiming for.

New Year, New Beginning, Clean Slate.

I have a lifestyle I want to attain. I have goals I want to meet. I have a mentality I want to keep.


This year.... I'm making it happen.


I'm tired of feeling like I'm not to my potential. I'm tired of not feeling like I have a direction.

I have drive. I have heart. I just need a dream.

and now I have one.

Goodbye year 2008, you were hard and fun, light and dark, sad and happy. You gave me room for growth, and growth definitely flourished. You were probably one of my hardest years yet, but without having to crawl through the muck and pain and hurt, I wouldn't have the strength I have now.

Year 2009, I'm excited to make you a good one. I am excited for the drive that I've found again in myself, and I know I can do it, I will do it. 2009 is the year I get my stability in myself. I want to feel my age, to be an adult. And lead an adult life. This is my time to shine. And I'm going into this with nothing holding me back. I am independent. I am all I need. And I'm going to own it.

Happy New Year
Everyone!

Love,
SCupcake, xox